
Gabriele Oettingen is a Professor of Psychology at New York University and the University of Hamburg. Her research focuses on how people think about the future, and how this impacts cognition, emotion, and behavior. Fun fact: she’s a German princess.
Per the author, this is a book about wishes and how to fulfill them. It draws on 20 years of research in the science of motivation, and it presents a single surprising idea. The Gist: Mental contrasting (i.e. dreaming + visualizing the obstacles of those dreams) is much more effective in helping people achieve their goals than positive thinking is:
The obstacles that we think most impede us from reaching our deepest wishes, can hasten their fulfillment
Approached by someone who wants to achieve a specific dream, many of us offer simple advice like:
Think positive”
“Don’t dwell on the obstacles since that will only bring you down”
“Be optimistic. Focus on what you want to achieve.”
“Visualize how great achieving your goal will feel”
Advice like this is well-meaning but ineffective. Research confirms that merely dreaming about the future (i.e. thinking positively) makes people less likely to realize their dreams and wishes. There are multiple reasons why dreaming detached from an awareness of reality is ineffective
e.g. The pleasurable act of dreaming seems to let us fulfill our wishes in our minds; which zaps us of the energy needed to perform the hard work of meeting real-life challenges
WOOP is a very effective system for mental contrasting that adds implementation intentions. WOOP = mental contrasting + implementation intentions. In other words, it’s a tool that makes metal contrasting more effective:
(W) Wish: Ask yourself what is it that you want (personally or professionally)
(O) Outcome: Visualize the best outcome of fulfilling your wish
(O) Obstacle: Think about the main obstacle within you that’s holding you back (e.g. fear, anxiety, reluctance, etc.)
(P) Plan: Develop an If-then plan. e.g. If/when __(insert obstacle)__ happens, then I will __(insert plan)__ .
WOOP is more effective if you repeat your WOOP plan daily (e.g. when you wake up or go to bed each day). Multiple studies have shown the effectiveness of using WOOP. In one study, participants who used WOOP exercised nearly twice as much as those who received basic health information (and they also ate healthier). These positive effects were noticeable over the short-term (weeks) and long-term (weeks).
2 vital questions to never stop asking yourself:
1) What is your dearest wish?
2) What holds you back from achieving that wish?
Mental contrasting
Mental contrasting instructs people to dream their dreams, but also visualize the personal barriers or impediments that prevent them from achieving those dreams Research has shown that people using mental contrasting are more motivated to achieve their goals and also much more likely to do. In other words, by adding a bit of realism to people’s positive imaginings of the future, mental contrasting (i.e. juxtaposing our dreams with the obstacles that prevent their attainment) enables people to become dreamers AND doers
Positive fantasies, wishes, and dreams detached from an assessment of experience didn’t translate into motivation to act towards a more energized and engaged life
It did the opposite
Any way you slice it, the research shows that the conventional belief that positive thinking is always helpful is wrong
Yes, sometimes it does help; but when it comes in the form of a free-flowing dream it impedes people in the long term from moving ahead
The research shows that these people were quite literally dreaming themselves to a standstill
The upside of dreaming
While dreaming can help you satisfy some needs, it does not help you fulfill needs that require significant energy, effort, or commitment. One study showed that mental contrasting is very effective if goals are realistic (i.e. based on experience), and not effective if goals aren’t realistic.
The key to mental contrasting success was whether study participants thought they had a good chance of success, to begin with
If students had expectations based on experience that they would succeed, then mental contrasting caused them to be significantly more energized and promptly engaged than members of the other groups
However, if students who used mental contrasting judged success unlikely, then they felt less energized and took less action around their wishes than did other participants
Engaging our nonconscious minds
Mental contrasting forges a link between the future and reality (specifically, the future comes first, and then reality comes)
Mental contrasting almost instantaneously brings reality to mind when the future is called up (a process that is beyond our conscious ability to notice or control)
Participants in studies that haven’t performed the exercise a mental contrast have much weaker links between the future and reality in their minds
Research has also established that mental contrasting forges powerful nonconscious associations between the obstacles we perceive and the instrumental behavior we need to take to overcome the obstacle
That nonconscious association explains actual observable changes in behavior
In other words, if you do mental contrasting, your mind naturally moves to the steps you need to take to overcome your obstacle (without requiring any special thought or attention on your part)
Wouldn’t any process that involves the elaboration of a future wish and a present reality lead people to be more aware of the behavior required to achieve their wish?
No (per the author’s research)
In mental contrast, people are reminded of their wish, the obstacle, and implicitly of the instrumental behavior they need to take
Remember: even with all the tips and tricks to offer, these things take time, commitment, and an iron will & desire to get to your outcome. Keep pushing even if it seems like you aren't making any progress. Most of the time, you quit right before the going gets good.
Now, let's get going.
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